Creating our True Selves One Step at a Time

As a child, I wanted security and an escape from a chaotic childhood.

Previously published at Elephant Journal

I looked at other kids and their parents and saw their lives as calm and easy. From what I saw, I believed that a stable life was found in a nine-to-five job where I would have defined goals, a steady paycheck and structure.

Even though I loved music and art I grew up thinking these hobbies were only fun and that I would never have a prosperous or stable life doing what I loved.

As an adult, I started to feel trapped by the life I had chosen. I abandoned theater, art and anything fun. I started working for others and eventually felt limited in where I could go or what I could do professionally. I started asking myself what I needed to do to create a different life, but I was scared and confused. How could I use my other skills to create the life I wanted? Continue reading “Creating our True Selves One Step at a Time”

What I Learned when I Stopped Giving Myself Away

I spent most of my life giving myself away.

Here’s why that didn’t work.

I took care of others in the hopes that it would be returned in an equal or similar way. I would easily give up my body to men, because I thought sex was equivalent to love. In friendships, I used money to buy the loyalty of others. At the office, I would spend hours and hours away from home, giving others my ideas in the hopes that they would like me.

Two failed marriages, disastrous friendships and arguments with family members were a few of the symptoms that something was not right in my life. I looked outside myself for reasons why I was so angry and negative about every experience. If I wanted to be happy and live a joyful life, I had to stop making excuses and take responsibility for my life. Continue reading “What I Learned when I Stopped Giving Myself Away”